at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
