omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
