i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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