dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
