all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
