Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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