Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
