dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
