Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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