So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
