I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
