Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
