my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
