I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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