Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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