I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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