I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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