Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
