she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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