i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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