dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
