Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
