I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
