don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
