Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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