remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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