there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
