i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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