I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
