please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
50% drunk capacity currently
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
