I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
