and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
