There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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