Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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