Plan B is the new Plan A
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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