I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
