note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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