Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
