Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize