Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
