That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
