Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
