Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
