he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
