Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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