wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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