No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
