I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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