piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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