Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
