i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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