The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
